Beginner’s Guide to Sex Toys

Curious about sex toys but not sure where to start?

This guide introduces the basics of sex toys: what they are, why people use them, and how to use them safely. It’s here to help you explore sexual wellness products with confidence.

What is a “Sex Toy?”

Sex toys are pleasure tools and devices used to enhance sexual pleasure or intimacy. They’re made for all bodies and body parts. Some are external, some internal, but most designs suit different anatomies and preferences.

Whether you’re solo or with your partners, sex toys can be used either way. They’re there to help you explore your body or enhance intimacy with others (ResearchGate).

Why do people use sex toys?

Sex toys have been around for thousands of years (look up medieval tools if you dare). They’ve simply evolved with time, technology, and changing attitudes. Here’s why people love them:

• To explore desire: You can learn what feels good for you in a safe, low-pressure way.
• To share intimacy: Many use toys to introduce new sensations during partnered play.
• To support sexual wellness: Toys can help with arousal, pleasure, or even pelvic floor health (PubMed).

Get to Know the Different Types of Sex Toys

Sex toys come in many forms, each designed to offer different sensations and experiences. Take a quick look at the most common categories to help you find what might work best for you.

Dildos

Dildos are typically non-vibrating penetration tools that are usually shaped for internal use. They can also be used vaginally or anally. 

They also come in different shapes and sizes. Some are realistic akin to human penises, and others may be more abstract or curved for targeted stimulation.

Vibrators

These are your friendly toys that vibrate to stimulate sensitive areas. Some are external, most commonly used for clitoral stimulation, while others are for internal use—or even both.

Vibrators come in a variety of styles. There are bullets, wands, rabbit-style, and more.

Ben Wa Balls & Love Eggs

These balls and eggs are small, weighted vaginal inserts for internal use and pelvic floor strength (Origin). 

It’s great for increasing sensitivity, and they’re often used to enhance your body awareness and control of your pelvic muscles.

Butt Plugs

Plugs exist for anal pleasure and exploration. These toys are meant to stay in place with a flared base for safety. 

Anal plugs usually vary in size and shape. They’re very beginner-friendly, so you can start small and work up in size over time.

Anal Beads

These are linked beads that create a building sensation when removed slowly. So they can be inserted and gradually removed to increase stimulation.

Pro tip: You can create a rhythmic sensation (solo or with partners) by slowly removing it during orgasm to intensify the experience.

Strap-Ons

These are your harnessed penetration toys that one partner typically wears to penetrate another. 

Anyone can use strap-ons. There are many configurations and harness types available to suit you and your partner’s needs.

Cock Rings

Flexible rings that go around the base of the penis or penis and testicles. Cock rings can enhance erections by restricting blood flow and help maintain hardness (PubMed).

Some wearers love it for a little edge play, reporting longer-lasting experiences that can delay orgasm.

Male Masturbators

These toys are soft sleeves or devices designed for solo stimulation for men.

A solo pleasure sleeve usually has different internal textures that mimic different sensations, like a vagina for example. There’s also a manual or motorized masturbator that can be used with hands or in hands-free setups.

How to Use a Sex Toy: The Basics

If you’ve never used a sex toy or are curious to try a new kind, it’s important to start slow and focus on comfort. These foundational tips will help you feel more confident using your toy for the first time.

• Read the instructions: Always follow the manufacturer’s safety and use guidelines.
• Start externally: Get used to the sensations first before inserting or penetrating yourself or others.
• Use plenty of lube: Lubrication reduces friction and can make the experience more comfortable, especially if you’re doing internal play.
• Go slow: It’s so, so, so important to give your body time to adjust to new sensations. Take your time and breathe.
• Listen to your body: If something feels uncomfortable or painful, stop. No questions asked.

Operating the Toy

Sex toys may seem intimidating at first, but most are designed to be intuitive:

• Battery or rechargeable: Make sure your toy is charged or has fresh batteries.
• Try different settings: Explore various speeds and patterns if your toy vibrates or rotates for multiple sensations.
• Test before using: You can turn it on in your hand first to get familiar with the feeling, especially if it’s your first time.
• Practice makes comfort: It’s more than okay to experiment solo before using with a partner.

Using Protection

Not all sex toys are made from body-safe materials, so using protection can improve hygiene, especially if you’re sharing them.

• Use condoms. Especially on toys that are shared or used for both anal and vaginal play.
• Change between areas. Always use a new condom or clean your toy before switching from anal to vaginal use.
• Opt for non-porous materials. Sex toys made of silicone, stainless steel, and glass are generally safe and easier to clean.

Cleaning the Toy

Proper cleaning helps keep your toys safe and ready for your next adventure. It’s important to wash before and after use. Use warm water with mild soap or a certified toy cleaner that is approved for your toy’s material.

Also, don’t forget to check for waterproof labels. Some toys can be submerged, while others should never touch water ever.

Storage

Safe storage protects both your body and your toy. Consider these tricks to keep your gear in good shape.

• Use a toy bag: A clean container keeps dust, lint, and bacteria away.
• Store in a cool, dry place: Doing so avoids moisture, heat, or direct sunlight.
• Don’t let toys touch: Some materials can degrade or react when stored together.

Sex Toys for Beginners: FAQs

Are sex toys safe to use?

Yes, when used properly and cleaned regularly. Always follow the instructions and choose body-safe materials like silicone, stainless steel, or glass.

Do I need to use lube with a sex toy?

Lube makes sex or using a sex toy smoother and more comfortable. Water-based lube is compatible with all materials. Do consider that silicone lube shouldn’t be used with silicone toys.

Can I use sex toys with a partner?

Absolutely. Many couples enjoy incorporating toys to explore different sensations and elevate intimacy. Communication and consent are key. 

We highly recommend a conversation about boundaries, safe words, and comfort levels beforehand.

How do I know which toy to start with?

Start with something small and simple. Maybe a small external vibrator like a bullet, or a smooth, realistic dildo. Definitely choose a toy that fits your level of comfort and curiosity, then experiment from there.

Do sex toys affect natural sexual function?

There’s no evidence that suggests sex toys negatively impact natural arousal or orgasm. In fact, studies show that regular use may increase sexual satisfaction and help people understand their own anatomy better (PubMed).