All About Orgasms

Everyone loves a good climax. But many don’t understand much about orgasms, our bodies’ sexual peak. 

Orgasms can be big or small, and can happen in all sorts of ways. Let’s start with the basics.

Orgasms 101: What is an Orgasm?

Orgasms are the highest point of sexual arousal. They are caused by physical stimulation of genitals or other erogenous areas of our bodies, like:

• Vaginas
• Clitorises
• Penises
• Anuses
• Nipples

Orgasms have many names:

• Climax
• Cumming
• The Big “O”

How Does an Orgasm Feel?

Orgasms feel intensely pleasurable, but everyone orgasms differently. (Source) 

Usually, the feelings of pleasure are highest at the point of stimulation, such as the genitals. 

In most cases, the pleasure lasts a few seconds and then fades. However, some can experience much longer orgasms, particularly women and people assigned female at birth (AFAB).

After an orgasm, you will feel a release of physical tension and pressure. You’ll likely feel calm, tired, or relaxed.

How Orgasms Work 

Orgasms can happen during sex with one or more partners, as we sleep, or during masturbation. They occur after sexual arousal, which prepares the body for orgasm. 

Each person is unique in what physical and mental stimuli best cause them to orgasm. Most often, orgasming involves direct stimulation of erect penises or clitorises. 

Penises and clitorises have erectile tissue that fill with blood and enlarge during arousal. They’re also packed with nerve endings that are very sensitive to touch.

As the orgasm occurs, hormones flood the bloodstream, and pelvic muscles repeatedly contract. For penis wielders, these muscle contractions cause ejaculation (the release of semen).

Orgasm Health Benefits

Orgasms don’t only feel good, they’re good for us too.

• Pain/headache relief 
• Better sleep
• Stress relief
• Menstrual cramps relief
• Improved heart health

Different Types of Orgasms

Orgasms can come from several pleasurable sources. Even those with penises can have more than one type of orgasm.

Clitoral Orgasm

For those born with a vagina, this is the most common orgasm to experience. 

The clitoris is outside of the vagina, just above its opening. Physical stimulation to it can lead to a clitoral orgasm. 

Vaginal Orgasm

Penetration of the vagina can also cause orgasms. Though less common than clitoral orgasms, they’re felt deeply as well. 

There are certain “spots,” or zones, in the vagina associated with causing these orgasms.

• The G spot. About 2-3 inches inward, along the upper lining of the vagina.
• The A spot. This is a deeper back in the vagina, usually around 4-6 inches. 
• The O spot. The farthest back, this spot is just below the cervix. 

Penile Orgasm

Penis wielders typically orgasm with stimulation to the penis. This orgasm leads to ejaculation, which sends semen out of the tip of the penis. 

Anal Orgasm

Anyone can feel enough pleasure from anal stimulation to experience an orgasm. 

For those born with a penis, this orgasm can be easier to have because of the prostate. Anal penetration can stimulate the prostate, which usually is very pleasurable. 

Blended Orgasm

Blended orgasms come from multiple sources of stimulation. 

• For those with vaginas, it can be a combination of a vaginal and clitoral orgasm. 
• For those with a penis, it can be a combination of a penile and anal orgasm. 

Erogenous Orgasm

Some people feel enough pleasure in other parts of their body to orgasm without their genitals. 

Erogenous orgasms can occur with stimulation to:

• Nipples
• Breasts
• Ears
• Necks
• Knees
• Wrists

Why Can’t I Have an Orgasm?

Many people struggle to reach orgasm. It’s not a sign that you’re broken, just that something is off either physically or mentally. 

Here are the common roadblocks to orgasms:

• Stress. Orgasms are mental as much as physical. If you’re too stressed, it can make arousal difficult or impossible. 
• Performance anxiety. Feeling anxiety about orgasming can make it harder to orgasm. This can be a vicious cycle, getting worse over time.
• Sexual shame. Feeling like sex and arousal are shameful can really mess with our heads and prevent orgasm.  
• Poor physical health. Sex is a physical act, and poor health can make it harder to cross the finish line.
• Medication. Certain medications can interfere with arousal or sexual stimulation. 

How Can I Orgasm More?

• Don’t rush yourself: Bodies take time to warm up and be ready to orgasm. We all know the jokes of finishing too quickly, but many experience the opposite., 
• Experiment alone. Sometimes a little trial and error is all we need. Find what you like, sexually, and then show your partners how they can do it to you.
• Try some orgasm aids, like sex toys. Sex toys can make orgasms out of this world. Vibrators, lubes, dildos, butt plugs, try them all until you reach your orgasm goals.

All About Orgasms: FAQs

Why do I orgasm alone but not during sex?

Sometimes our sexual partners don’t know the right things to make us go “OH!” 

Or, mental roadblocks like stress and performance anxiety can make cumming with a partner more difficult. 

Either way, communicate your needs and desires with your partner. Have patience with them, and with yourself, and keep trying. 

Should you always orgasm during sex?

Not necessarily! While orgasms feel great, sex can be about so much more. Still, if you never orgasm during sex, there might be a problem you should try to work through. 

Can men orgasm without ejaculating?

While certain techniques claim to prevent ejaculation, penile orgasms will always lead to ejaculation. Anal orgasms also lead to fluid ejaculation. 

How do I have multiple orgasms?

While penis wielders typically need some recovery time before they can orgasm again, vagina wielders are different. 

Multiple vaginal, clitoral, and other orgasms are possible, and common.